The Typos Of Death

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You write a book. You polish said book. You read said book 1003 times. Then, you make your best friend, mother, the cute guy at Starbucks, your fluffy white dog, and anyone else you can find also read the book.

So, it's perfect, right? Obviously, those passes took care of every little missed word or typo. That's why we do these passes, so everything is shiny, new, and error-free.

Or so you hope. If you're like me, this is the actual series of events:

  1. Write your manuscript.
  2. Obsessively edit it for months and months, not even letting your little sister or best friend take a peak.
  3. Edit some more.
  4. Finally let people read the book! Or, pieces of the book, anyway.
  5. Edit a bit more.
  6. Decide to enter a prestigious contest that you've always dreamed of winning!
  7. Edit the book some more.
  8. Read the book out loud to yourself, just in case the ridiculous editing didn't work.
  9. Enter the contest, smug in the knowledge that after your crazed, excessive amounts of editing your pages are perfect.
  10. Send the manuscript off to an agent whom you respect & admire. An agent who you would absolutely kill to work with, as long as the person whom you did in were really, really bad. An agent who has, miraculously, shown an interest in your work and whom you are very nervous about disillusioning.
  11. Twiddle your fingers.
  12. Decide to look over the manuscript one last time.
  13. Find out that you: Forgot to change the name of a Very Important Thing in Chapter One, were fooled by automatic word replacement into committing a typo (Are, instead of at? Really Word?), Forgot to change the name of Another Very Important Thing in Chapter Three.
*watch dreams of contest win go up in smoke*
*try to resist e-mailing amazing agent with slightly revised copy, w/o the errors*
*die in fiery explosion of embarrassment*


So, typos happen to everyone, right? ...Right?

5 comments:

KarenG said...

Yes!! Right, they do. Even in published books that have also been edited and copy edited all over again.

TerriOsburn said...

I've lived that list. In fact, I recently sent off my GH entry, and then realized I did something worse than a type. I used entirely the wrong word for something. The worst part is that I stumbled on that word several times thinking it didn't look right and still never did the light bulb go off.

Gah!

TerriOsburn said...

Nice. A typo in my comment. That should make you feel better.

JulieJustJulie said...

"So, typos happen to everyone, right? ...Right?"

Write!

Kelly Krysten said...

I hate typos but inevitably write millions. I type too fast and can't hardly see what I'm typing in a manner that will help. When I go back and edit I tend to get sick to my stomach. No fun!